Oh ’tis the season…the 2011th celebration of the birth of our Lord, Josh Christ-o. Or is it the 2012th? Or maybe the 2010th? God may be great, and he sure did some cool shit, BUT IF HE WAS THE ONE THAT INVENTED FENCEPOST ERROR, THEN HE CAN SUCK A FAT ONE.

Anyways, I, in all my benevolence, have decided to gift you, dear reader, with a VERY special Christmas/Hanukkah gift!

“WHAT IS IT!? WHAT IS IT!?”…I hear you, beautiful children. I watch you as your collective eyes gleam, glowing orbs in a sea of anticipatory grins. I will not let you down. Your questions will not go unanswered. Today, I, in all my infinite glory, will bestow upon you, not one, not two, but THREE posts in one. For those keeping track, that will constitute about 50% of my posts so far.

BE EXCITED.

KNOWLEDGE: PART I
Clams Casino – “I’m God”

Apparently “clams casino” is a New England seafood dish. This makes me think that Mike Volpe – the man behind Clams Casino – is some old money, Columbia-matriculating, yuppie honkster in the vein of Vampire Weekend. It just so happens that I went to high school with a Mike Volpe, and if they end up being the same person, I will eat my own shit. I took the liberty of listening through most of his stuff, and honestly, I’m not overly impressed, but this song is good:

KNOWLEDGE: PART II
Hooray for Earth – “True Loves”

Hooray for Earth have been around for awhile, though only really in the Boston indie rock circuit. They have toured with some big acts including Cymbals Eat Guitars, Architecture in Helsinki, Surfer Blood, and Pains of Being Pure at Heart (SHOUTOUT TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, PEGGY WANG!). I recommend you check out their most recent LP, “True Loves”. Here is the title track from that album:

KNOWLEDGE: PART III
The Vaccines – “Norgaard” et al. (Mark Davis, et al. breakin’ in yo’ dorm room during fire drills, sniffin’ yo’ panties)

This band is nice. They are british poppy jazzy rad times for all. Their debut album, “What Did You Expect From the Vaccines?”, seems inherently self-deprecating with its title–which I like. My favorite track from the album, “Norgaard”, tells of a love affair (presumably make-believe) with Scandinavian model Amanda Norgaard. You can check it out, along with a few other tracks I liked, below:

Feliz Navidad, dear reader!

And, in the words of former Obama Chief of Staff, Rahm Emmanuel:

“FUCK YOU, I LOVE YOU”

❤